Feeling of a Family
by Darkhealer
Summary: Feeling…even a little bit, he admitted to himself that he cared too much…and it had always been his downfall.


_**That Feeling of Family**_

Feeling…even a little bit, he admitted to himself that he cared too much…and it had always been his downfall. Stork knew that he could pretend all he wanted…to try to let nothing in…let nothing touch him…but…the time for pretending was over. His head hurt and so did his heavy heart, holding the chains of his own guilt, his shackled shame, those single feelings of remorse and of the endless silence and heartbreak…the silence he couldn't ignore anymore. He watched, as the silence closed in on him…allowing him to once again…pretend that nothing touched him…but he felt he was giving in. The hindrance of the blackness spread over the bridge like a lingering shadow, altering to a fainting grey and bathing his world in a deepening darkness. The press of his green-skinned fingers tracing along the faint cracks over the window, they were almost like the hair-line cracks against his broken and shattered heart. His grip tightened on the helm, leaning into the turn sharply in order to just feel the moment…in truth flying was the only thing that relaxed him, the only thing he allowed himself to feel again. Stork let the chill of the dense air, fresh and clear brush his face, the smell of the lingering lemon-scented cleaner filling his nostrils…this was the life…but was it for him?

He yelped and spun around when a single stroke of a hand, a very cold hand, settled on his bare shoulder. His arms lowered defensively, his shoulders trembling ever so slightly…his pale yellowed eyes wide in surprise. Stork's trailing gaze fell upon a red-haired boy with deepened black shadows cutting just under his normally bright green eyes. His messy hair was in tangles falling limply in front of his face, barely covering the fact that his leader was pale and white with what looked like fright. _Strange_, Stork thought, _usually it's me that's afraid_! He had noticed that lately that the red-head had looked…tired…exhausted…like him. Which wasn't like him, in fact it was quite the opposite...the sight of the paled faced Aerrow though made him think of a memory…far off…and bitter…but a memory. Drawing in his labored breath, he sighed in relief but was startled again as the youth's clear voice…asked him one question that he wished was just a part of his forgotten dreams. "Stork, you're always afraid…of the shadows around you…the strike of the lightning…of your own team. What are you _really_ afraid of…why are you afraid of us…especially of _us_?"

He could hear the wavering of emotion in his voice, why was this the thing that bothered him…and why was he awake now? It was the middle of the night and Aerrow was clad in his pj's for once…blue with little sky-knights and talons fighting on them. Stork was just wearing his brown patched-up worn leather pants, naked at the waist and his gloves and what he used for shoes placed upon the couch. "T-the shadows remind me…they close in around me… and the lightning…well…" his voice broke but he continued, "She made sure that I'll never forget…what happened…what she broke…" He couldn't go on; it hurt too much still…to say why he was so…broken.

Aerrow's tired eyes widened suddenly, his mouth gasping slowly and hanging open…written upon his face were a thousand more questions but he let the Merb continue. "We all lose so much to the storm…sometimes from inside and sometimes from an outer source, but we're all broken all the same. What I'm really terrified of is…well…is…" his voice trailed off so that Aerrow could not hear the last words. Stork for all he was…he just…wasn't ready to admit to stop pretending that it didn't hurt him…

"Stork…I'm sorry…I haven't been sleeping well for a few nights not since what Finn said that one day. When he said that we all had secrets but…that you seemed to have the most… We could see the…the…look of haunting beneath your mask. Piper even said that _you _haven't lately been seen near _us_…that you were hiding…well that's normal for you…but you seemed to be doing it on purpose. I admit though I'm starting to get worried…I mean…I hardly know you…and as _your _friend I should make a point to see that my family is okay", the last words hit him like an energy-sword in the gut. Stork refused to look him in the eye now…feeling that sense of uncomfort…of that sadness and pain that still lingered around him, choking him. Aerrow placed his hand upon his shoulder again, but this time the helmsmen made no move to flee…his dark eyes shut as if to keep from seeing his leader. If he knew Stork even a little he was trying to ignore what he had heard…the merb was so strange to him…even if he did grow up with Finn and Radaar.

"F…Fam…Fa…" Stork gasped the word but it would not come, unbidden on the tip of his tongue he could not allow himself to care…not after what she did to him. There was nothing left to fix, and he was far from ever being able to heal from all the pains that caring cost…the price for ever feeling. "Worried about _me?_"

"Yeah…I'm always worrying about my team…they're the only family I've got left…I hardly remember my parents", Aerrow could feel the Stork's shoulder shaking and his left ear was twitching along with that one eye, "What do you mean by she…and that she made you remember? Remember what?"

_There it is, the question I feared, _Stork moved away quickly to the door but in its metal frame stood a confused, messy haired blonde wearing his blanket more like a cape with a rounded pot on his head. With the entrance blocked, his only exit he surrendered to the couch, sitting with his head cradled into his arms and with a muttering to himself quietly. The blonde, Finn was now looking more worried than muddled, he crossed the room slowly as Aerrow quirked a single eyebrow at his entire. For at his elbows and knees were his missing pillows strapped along the pale blue of his uniform and a single pair of black briefs…with pink kittens?

"Kitty cats…huh, didn't know pink was your favorite color?" At that even Stork smirked, even a little but all of Finn'scollected 'dignity' and 'coolness', were shattered at that moment. His mouth turned in a frown and his hands covering the mentioned embarrassing under garment with little success.

"If you tell the others about this…"

"You'll fly away in your purple puppy boxers instead ever heroically", Stork piped up forgetting his earlier headache.

Now the blonde's face was as red as a tomato but went all the brighter when Piper's small frame gently tip-toed along his side and gave him a 'Supreme Atmos wedgie'. The look upon his face said it all, OUCH! "Pink…huh, I have a pretty dress that would go perfectly with that…whatever you call that?"

"To repeat Stork…Duh!" At the mention of his green helmsmen Aerrow turned around to see that Stork now was back on the couch cradling his head…still with that smirk held on his pale green face.

"Hey…buddy…you, okay?" The others settled around the Merb; Piper with her hand on his lap and Finn hanging over as Aerrow sat down on the other side.

"About what you asked beforehand…I…I… she was Master Anarchis…Cyclonis had a grandmother…she was the one who conquered Terra Merbia. By remember…I remember what she took from me…who she took from me…"

By this time the big laboring wallop had joined the rest of them and silently stood near but yet far from the Merb, they all seemed so far away…and he so… His thoughts raced through his mind, lashing at his head…he could feel the tears slipping forth from his control…and landing down his straight, flat nose. It was the Wallop that spoke next that made him snap out of his trance.

"What did she take and why did she take it?"

"Sh-she-she…took away my family…my home…and me", his voice sounded so thin and low, Piper drew herself against his side in a hug…when she noticed the faint trace of crossed but jagged scars upon his stomach, down his back and on the left side of his head. Where his left ear was…along where the earrings where…right by the holes.

"Those earrings…were from her weren't they; I thought they were to remember lost ones".

"I thought they meant that he liked the chains too but…", Finn stopped when Piper's gaze darkened and narrowed making him duck below the couch's arm…then he looked closer to Stork's ear…, "What were they for anyway, control...maybe a way of her going into your mind."

"They were meant for control…once…and yes she _was_ in my mind…I had more once too, but I got them out. That ear hurts more now than the other one, Merbs usually heal faster than the other races…but not me. It started with the migraines then the nightmares…then I tried to escape the first time she attacked but…I was only four years old, seven months and ten days old. I don't even know my parents…they were captured and probably murdered with the rest of the others in the resistance. The crystals she used…they were burning inwardly and at its touch the y…were lost within…the others were allowed to live…for experiments. She took away my…inner 'self'…my 'soul self', she called it. Those lamprey flies I told you guys about, the mindworms…she used them all…I think I still have some…then she used them…those crystals to turn their blood to poison…a slow death…wish she had done that to me…".

Their silence filled his ears…reminded him that he was giving in to it again…to his feelings…and it pierced him like a knife. _You care for them too much…they'll only end up dead because you choose to care for them…that's why the other Merbs told you it would led to your downfall. You, Stork care too much…now just pretend you never said anything…it's just a dream…you'll wake up and they'll all be dead… Everyone you love…will be dead…_

"Stork…you never said…"

"I fear I've said too much…Aerrow you truly want to know what I fear…I'll tell you", he dropped to his knees shaking so badly that Piper and Aerrow had to hold him…he looked on the verge of faint. His sobs could be hear softly but not over the dying cry of the wind as it swept the outside of the ship. Finn was quiet for once…so was that sky-monkey…thing… _Do you really want to know…? _His eyes pleaded to them all…not to ask him this, if now it would only cause him to be lost to the silence that he so feared. "Please…don't make me do this…not again…I just can't", but he was only answered by the nightmares. He could see everything now…and he had to tell them…so that he could move on…to heal. Even a little bit…even not at all…he needed them he knew as much as they needed him. Their warmth was the one thing that greeted Stork from his own personal hell…protected him from the engulfing darkness…the deadly cold…of own his heart. He allowed his heart to open…his eyes…and they were safe…all of them…and they were there with him…for the moment. That was all he needed…the one thing he _truly _wanted…their protection….their safety.

"I'm afraid I'll lose you…each of you…like my family before…and my team", and his words met again the silence of the night…but were met with the warmth of…family…of a team. How long had he wished to have that one thing…but his mind always stooped him. He spat the words as if they were poison to him, "Master Anarchis she took my control away…and worse she took my heart. When I said I'd escaped I Literally did…from my own people…from her and found refuge within this ship here…with the original Storm Hawks.". If he had punched Aerrow full on in his nose it world have had a lesser impact…but the fact that he not only _knew _them but had _spent _time with the original crew… Now was the time for asking…every last thing he could…

"What were they like?"

"They were…the only humans who've ever treated me like a person instead of a simple animal. Lightning Strike he was a very humble man, with a big heart…he saw the good in everyone… Kaya his second…she was the one whom found me…the first time I fell in the wastelands. You are just like her Aerrow…just like her… They took me in as their apprentice pilot learning under Abigail Flincher…and the team's mechanic Heron…the third Seagull. I remember Lightning Strike and Kaya they kept their team in peace and taught me so many things about the world outside… Abigail and I became more…I loved her…Merbs mate for life. She was bonded to me, this ring here was really to remind me of her…years went by but then the sky-knight made his first mistake. He took in Slippy, what would become the Dark Ace…and led to their deaths… The day they were to free Terra Merbia leading what would have been the Final Battle but as you know it was their last… Slippy and me never got along…your father trusted all of them...but I could see he wasn't telling the full truth. When your father went down as I tried to pilot the Condor…I could do was watch as he killed off each one… I admit I failed to protect them…Kaya and Abigail…but he had the help of the Creepers. I held my beloved in my hands…as her last breath went…out like a light. Kaya though after I got to her…it was not pretty and she made me promise I would always watch; act as his guardian…her son…Aerrow".

"Stork…Slippy…?"

"Yeah…I found the little boy barely awake…the Dark Ace by now…hopefully never knew about the little one. You were so small in my arms, as the Condor fell I grabbed a skimmer and fled toward the Terra. I stayed with you until you were I believe about four or six…hiding away from the other Merbs… I was exiled by them…for caring for a human…for loving a human… I decided to take you somewhere else but…we all know where you ended up…a great watcher aren't I?"

"You were that green Merb…you lost a lot huh…" Aerrow now was at his feet but with a curious expression, Radaar chirping beside him…glaring at Stork. Radaar went over and chirped his indignation up at the helmsmen…but Piper cut him off. Junko stood by the helm, holding his teddy bear in a tight grip and Finn slacked jawed.

"The wastelands could have never made you like that…the experiments…the things you must have seen…and did. It explains so much now…but why did you join us?"

"To keep my promise…to her…to watch over Aerrow".

"Wow…all of that for me?"

"It's more than just the promise; it's to even have a single feeling of family again. It's so hard to force yourself to stop, to even pretend to not care. I guess the cracks are beginning to show, to break through… I'll always asked myself if this life was even worth it, all the heartaches and pain but I… I wouldn't, couldn't think of something better…even if it came along. I'll always care about you guys…my family", Stork now leaned against the cold frame of the window with his back to them. His yellowed eyes filling with tears and he didn't want them to see _him_ crying… Finn dropped the pot off his head and walked next to him, and watched along with him. Then Junko stood by, just by the helm…quietly gazing across the beauty of the Atmos beneath their feet. The darkness seemed to linger above them but at a distance and now less scary, cold as one by one his family came by his side… He didn't feel so lost anymore not now…as Aerrow the last to stand up but his eyes still were asking too many questions.

"They cared so much about me; I hope I made them proud".

"I'm sure Aerrow that they're both watching over you right now", Piper smiled and hugged him slightly, pulling him and Finn closer to her. Junko though had that big groin spread against his wide face, and pulled them all into a hug. "Junko I can't breathe". "Sorry".

"If they're really watching, I hope that they aren't angry with me…I still have a lot of healing to do…even slowly", his voice trailed off again.

"I know we will be okay, we all have a feeling of a family".

_I know I'll make it through even a little bit, at least now I can finally stop pretending…but still I wonder if I care too much. It's nice to have at least some comfort from the darkness._


End file.
